the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
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