Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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