By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
