Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
my vag is so smooth its legendary
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
