can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
