If that was your dad, he is hot
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
