I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
