Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
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