Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
