Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
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