Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Randomize
