guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
