you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Randomize
