Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
