My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
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