I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
