He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
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