I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
