my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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