I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
