never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
