I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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