brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
You don't have asthma, your pregnant
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
