I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Randomize
