thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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