that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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