Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
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