Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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