You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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