Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
