there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
