She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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