Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
My ass is underappreciated
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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