I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
