Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
