My balls are so social today.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
NoShamevember. You game?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
