Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
