Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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