Welp...herpes.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
