I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
