ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I hate all girls vehemently.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
