Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
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