My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I could have mohawked her pubes.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
