Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
