Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Randomize
