Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Randomize
