Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
