drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
When are your genitals available?
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