Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I just found puke in my bra..
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
