After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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