She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
